Saturday, May 25, 2013

Here comes the anxiety…

I start my internship on Tuesday. This simple fact is freaking me out.

I was doing well before, when I was only dealing with the prospect, the near yet still far away future, that I would be spending my entire summer under a pile of work that I am only half certain that I can handle. Now, it is no longer a prospect, it is happening. On Tuesday.

I know that in theory I can do the work, but I have no idea what they are actually expecting of me and what actual work I will be doing. I also have no idea if the organization is something that I will actually want to be apart of after it is all said and done. Slowly but surely my faith and happiness with public service organizations is going down the toilette.

Not only will I be doing an internship I’m only half sure about, I will be starting my thesis work which, I’m not sure that I’m completely prepared for. It’s going to put me well outside my comfort zone. There are very few things that really give me anxiety, and a large part of my project is doing just that: talking with people whom I do not know in a non-social context.

I think this summer will be a large learning experience because I’m going to be forced to do a lot of things I’m not sure about. I had that a bit last summer and everything turned out really well, so I know that I shouldn’t be so anxious about it. But it’s a lot of work, a lot of work that I want and need to do well. If I want to get fellowships at law firms or at other legal organizations I will need to do well at Legal Aid. If I want my thesis to be good I’ll have to do good research. I guess I’ll just have to work really hard and push myself beyond what I think I can do. IF I do that, I will be fine, but I’m just hoping that I have the will for it.

But all anxieties aside, today I’m going to go shopping for some killer internship outfits, have lunch with my dad, and plan our Memorial Day meal. That should keep my mind off my hopefully-not-impending doom.

A dopo!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Well hey there Dallas!

So, I’m at the Dallas-Fort Worth airport finally. Well, actually I’ve been here for a couple hours, but it’s taken a while for it to sink in that I will be home in just a few hours. I can’t wait to see my house since my mother has been renovating, I can’t wait to see my family, and my city.

I had McDonald’s when I got here, which was an extremely poor decision on my behalf and now I feel like there is a ball of congealed lard in the pit of my stomach. Disturbingly enough, I’m not too sure that’s far from the truth.

There are very few times when I have been this excited to go home and since I haven’t been back since January it seems like it’s been forever. I’m hoping to make it home for happy hour, I miss getting good drinks. Bars in the Springs are pretty cheap, but they definitely aren’t good. Not at all.

For now, I’m sitting in the airport excited and ready to get on the plane.

A dopo!

Weather, meh (5/21)

Well, my plans to go home were thwarted. It is 5PM, and instead of finding myself in the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport eagerly awaiting my arrival home, I am back at my friends place planning on bunking on the couch for a 3rd night. Woohoo!

There are many reasons for this to suck hard, the most important of which is the fact that I really wanted to go home. I got so excited and then my flight got cancelled. It’s not like I don’t love it here, but most of my friends are gone at the this point and I have so much to look forward to at home. There is nothing that I want more right now than to be on a plane on its way to Cleveland. Hopefully I’ll get a good dinner and maybe have a few drinks. Otherwise, I’ll be not-so-patiently waiting for my flight out of here and to see my family finally!

A dopo!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013


This morning I got up at 6AM to get ready for commencement, it was bittersweet because on one hand I’m extremely excited for my friends who are seniors. They are leaving CC to do amazing inspiring things and I know that their lives outside of school will be so fulfilling. But, I am sad to see them go, there are so many great people in that year and I will miss them so much.

I ended out the year pretty well, I got the internship that I wanted at Legal Aid Society of Cleveland and I am doing my thesis work with Near West Recreation so things seem to be going well.

I can’t really make much sense of what’s going on right now. It all seems like a blur of events and emotions. Hopefully wants I get home and have some literal and figurative distance from everything—school, friends, clubs, Colorado—and I’ll be able to get things together in my head. Until then I think I’m going to watch some Game of Thrones.

A dopo!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Roughing it (April 3, 2013)

My class went to the cabin for 2 1/2 days (Mon-Wed) to do some in depth analysis of some major pieces by Gershwin. We came up on Monday morning and got situated and then did a read through of one of Gershwin’s most popular shows Lady, Be Good which is a downright silly and cliché musical. Thinks of generic early 20th century musical comedy plot and you will have a general outline of the show’s plot. Aside from the plot issues there were some great one liners and some pretty good songs.

It was nice to be away from things, but I was glad to get back to campus, internet is something that I have learned not to take for granted.

A dopo!

Now that that’s over… (March 24, 2013)

I’m currently sitting on a plane on my way back to the Springs and I’m feeling a little torn.

On one hand I’m going back to 20 degree whether and snow after getting sunburnt for 3 days and laying out on the beach in practically nothing. I had been yearning for some warmth and I got it. Unfortunately not for too long. But, on the other hand I am going to be back with all my other friends and living it up for the next too blocks, which hopefully will not stay cold for too long.

My next class will be great, a high level music history course with an amazing professor who knows what he’s talking about and with other students who study music. It will be my first of the kind and I’m a little afraid I might be in over my head, but hopefully I retained something from that black of theory freshman year.

Daytona was amazing and I really got to relax. We were staying in a condo right on the beach so everyday was pools and the beach and generally just having a great time and feeling good. Towards the end I could tell that I was getting a little annoyed with some things, but for the most part the trip was really great and I enjoyed spending time with Erin and Grace. We ate enough seafood to fill an aquarium and spent enough time on the beach for an entire summer, I’ve never been this burnt in my life.

At this point we are almost home and since my attempt at reading during this flight turned into a 45 minute nap I figured I’d write a little.

A dopo!

In Transit… (March 19th, 2013)

I’m sitting here in the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport wanting nothing more than to crawl into a hole and go to sleep. I have 20 minutes until my flight and I’m feeling like it’s been hours.

My day started off really early, I woke up at 5:20AM so that I could have enough time to shower, finish packing my toiletries and eat breakfast before the cab got there. As soon as I got up I called so that the taxi would be there at 6:15, of course in my sleep drunk state, I told them the wrong address, unbeknownst to me until later. After that I realized the carry-on I was going to take had a hole in it so I had to switch bags and I ended up not having enough time to actually eat breakfast. It was also way too early to actually eat anything substantial (needless to say right now I’m starving). In my anxious state, I forgot to pack my toothbrush (its always the toothbrush) and also neglected to dress properly for the plane rides, per usual.

When I go to the airport the taxi ride ended up being $39, I was pissed so I didn’t leave a tip. I feel bad about it now, but at the time (6:30AM) I could careless about karma. I certainly never claim to be a morning person. After that it was smooth sailing, checking in yesterday was definitely worth while as I didn’t have to stand in those obnoxious lines to check in at the desk. It was nice to have light bags as well, I need to take short trips more often…

Anyway, now I’m in Dallas and of course, right when I was settled in at my gate they decided it would be an awesome idea to change the gate. Classic. On the other hand, at least the gate change was only a little ways down the terminal unlike the gate changes characteristic of Denver International where they completely change the terminal and don’t have any sort of shuttle service for the terminals. I don’t even remember how many times I’ve sprinted through that airport with my 30lbs bags trying to make my flight.

As someone who typically lacks patience (if we could apparate like in Harry Potter, I would totally risk the consequences) I have been super anxious to get to Daytona. Not only do I want to just be there already, I also can’t wait for the balmy weather that is awaiting me there. Even if it is raining 70’s is better than 50’s any day.

So for now, I am stuck waiting in anticipation for my fast approaching R&R and I can hardly contain myself. More to come from the sandy shores of Daytona Beach, with pictures!

A dopo!

I kind of suck…

It is clear that I have a really bad habit of writing posts and then not posting them. So, what I have resolved to do is post all of my “forgotten” posts and put approximate dates… be warned there are plenty of posts and some of them are kind of exciting.

A dopo!