Friday, October 25, 2013


Big news! I am transferring my blog to tumblr. Woo!

It was a hard decision to make, but ultimately it’s a better platform aesthetically and functionally for what I’d like my little stream-of-consciousness blog to be. It’s easier for my not-so-tech-savvy self to post pictures, quotes, videos, and other stuff that suddenly pops into my head while I’m out and about and at home.

This blog will be here as an archive, but all new posts will be on this site:

I hope it will be a better format for cataloguing my weird and sometimes dramatic life.

A dopo! (on tumblr)

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Another block break begins.

In typical fashion, my plans of debauchery far, far away from home were thwarted, this time not by overly eager underclassmen, but by a consulting firm in Philly. “How so?” You may ask… Well, my roommate, Maddie, who was the ringleader of our epic trip to Jackson Hole got a third round job interview with a firm in Philadelphia. Of course, she couldn’t pass up this awesome opportunity at a job that pays money and actually looks good on a resume. Unfortunately, this interview is at the same time as our block break and thus 3 1/2 days of fun in the mountains at her brother’s place was whittled down to 1 day. Hardly enough to warrant 18 hours worth of driving and headaches. So, the trip was curtailed to a point of that it made no sense to go, so we put the kibosh on that bitch.

After soaking in self pity for a a couple days I decided that I would make the best of my on campus break, and not spend it watching hours of Netflix, and by watching I mean searching through every single movie on my list and deciding that I don’t want to watch any of it. Then I found out about the H&M opening at the local mall. Of course that brightened up my prospects. Also the fact that I’m not completely broke this break means that my options have opened up considerably. More time to figure out my Halloween costume and try out some new recipes… Sure.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Today’s letter is…

J for Joke.

As in, my life is a joke. And in true life-is-a-joke fashion my day has been unraveling quite terribly, if I do say so myself.

I woke up this morning feeling like a dry sponge, but then remembered ‘Oh yeah, today is the day that I start my really awesome writing class with Hampton Sides! How cool is that?’

So I get up, realize that I’ve woken up late and scramble to get out of the house so that I’ll be on time for my class. Of course, I arrive at my classroom at precisely 9:02AM with all of my books, ready to apologize my ass off and soak in the awesomeness that is Hampton Sides. And then I realize the door is locked.

Literally panic starts coursing through my body. The director of creative writing comes out escorting the people who were on the waiting list out of the class and informs me that because I was not in the classroom at 9AM I cannot be in the class. I could not believe that he was saying what I thought he was. The class that I had been looking forward to taking for 5 months was now being ripped out of my hands by a little hobbit looking asshole who could careless that I couldn’t find the classroom. My question, “How was I supposed to know about this policy if no one told me?” His response: *shoulder shrug* I wanted to rip his smug little face off.

Adding insult to injury it’s 2nd block, which is notorious for not having very many classes. All of the classes are either 100-level classes for freshman, or 400-level classes for seniors finishing up their majors. Not only am I missing out on my dream class, I am also scrambling to find a class that I can actually take, or I’m hanging out doing nothing for a block. Fucking terrible.

On top of all this, I still haven’t received my money from financial aid. This would be fine if it weren’t the fucking 30th and if all my bills weren’t fucking due today and I HAVE NO FUCKING MONEY. Awesome.

Then I receive an email saying that my 5th block class has been cancelled. The other class that I was really looking forward to taking. Score.

Monday called and said: Fuck you.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Boredom v. Relaxation

One thing I learn every block break is that there is a very fine line between relaxation and boredom. Every block break I skirt that line and inevitably cross it.

Usually, my boredom is mixed in with a good dose of procrastination, but that’s another issue entirely.

For most of the break I’ve been pretty content with having absolutely nothing to do. Of course, I’ve had plenty to do this break. Between working, cleaning, and hanging out with friends who I haven’t really seen in a while, this block has been eventful enough that I haven’t actually been bored all break. Today has been he first day that I haven’t really had anything to do. I can’t even go to the gym because it’s closed, so here I sit on my front porch writing about having nothing to do.

I could be going over lines, or reading, or washing my dishes from breakfast this morning. Needless to say, none of those things are moving me to action at this point. Right now, I’d like to be shopping, or hanging out with people, or hiking. But I am doing none of those things which is leading me to a minor case of cabin fever.

Luckily, this break hasn’t been a complete bust. I like that I’ve been pretty productive and have worked out as planned. I can fee that I’m in much better shape than I was before… It’s always astonishing to me how quickly I get back in shape.

On the flip side I’ve felt really weird al of this block, emotionally, that is. I’m not sure if it’s because of my period, or if I’m just having one of those weeks, but I have been really emotional lately. I guess I have been kind of all over the place. Sometimes I don’t know if there is actually something wrong with me, or if it’s totally normal for life to be an emotional rollercoaster.

Between my crush (that is really kind of freaking me out since I haven’t had a crush on someone in quite some time and it makes me think that I’m crazy for being this infatuated with someone I just met), whatever it is that is going on between me ad David, and the intense feelings of loneliness that I’ve been feeling, I’ve been in a whirlwind of emotions lately. Hopefully that will change this upcoming block. I could use some fun.


A little journal entry I’d penned after a summer night watching movies with a guy friend took an unexpected turn.

The silence was the most nerve wrecking I’d ever experienced.

There was an ease with which you sent your currents coursing across the air from my fingertips to every end of my body.

I couldn’t break the current if I’d wanted to, and I feared my careless lips would kill the energy in a fumbling attempt to escape from the silence.

The silence that signaled the inevitable, that I couldn’t deny it if I’d wanted to.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Next block…

Through middle school and high school I was a pretty avid writer.  started out with fiction, writing novels for no one in particular and doing short and flash fiction for Power of The Pen competitions and classes. It was something that I really enjoyed and ended up enjoying more when I applied for the Writer’s Workshop at my school freshman year. I had never personally shared my writing with people I didn’t know. It was an experience that was new for me and it was then that I was really introduced to the idea of creative nonfiction. I had intuitively known it was thing, I’d read personal essays which were clearly more personal in tone than academic essays, but never really consciously thought about them as a separate genre. For me, coming up with stories, even with a prompt was always a hard task. I was always at a loss for a good story, my writing was good, but the ideas were rarely inspired. I can only think of a few stories that I came up with that were any good, needless to say, that does not a good writer make.

The end of the beginning…

Right now there are a ton of people in my house. For a change I’m not annoyed. It’s nice being able to share my home with people. Last night I went out, this weekend was one of pure fun. I drank, I smoked, I danced and I hung out with my friends until the wee hours of the morning. It was a great weekend to say the least, even though I have been doing homework all weekend and it’s 4th week. I met a boy, who, despite being a senior I had never met before. Let’s just say I might have a new distraction, which, at this point, I don’t mind. It’s nice, hopefully I don’t let my self-consciousness get in the way of putting myself out there. We’ll see what happens.

This morning I woke up feeling pretty good. We had a house brunch and then I went to the lab to work. It wasn’t as productive as I would have liked but it was productive enough. Then I had work and then went to Ellement rehearsal. Overall it was a busy day, but a nice day. After that the new freshman swiped me into Rastall… it was joyous and extremely delicious. I haven’t pigged out that much in a very long time.

So tonight I’m deciding whether or not I am gonna go out and also deciding whether or not I’m going to woman up and make a move. Hopefully both of those answers are affirmative, but you never know.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Back when I was in NYC…

I’m in NYC, got in yesterday and so far it’s been pretty great. I had some delicious pizza with my mom before she headed off the Harlem. That’s the only sore spot of the trip, my mother, convinced (and honestly, rightfully so) that Air B’n’B was the best way to go she found her a nice little spot in Harlem… fast forward to yesterday and she finds out the place is in a not so savory neighborhood and the pictures of the place were less than accurate. Now she is stuck in some place with little peace of mind as to her surroundings and out of $130. Although it’s cheaper than what she would have paid for a hotel, I think that she would have felt better paying a little more and not ending up in an (almost) dump. I feel bad since she’s slumming it and I am sitting pretty in a 3 bedroom apartment on the UES in a building with a elevator and doorman. I wish there was something that I could do, but I will try to rendezvous with my mother today and gauge how she’s feeling about her spot.

Last night Sylvie, Wes, and I went over to LeAnna’s for dinner. Honestly, this was the FIRST legitimately pleasant experience I’ve had with her, but in hindsight I realize that she may not have realized that she was kind of being a bitch to me, or at least coming off that way. We had a delicious salad, mediocre pasta, copious amounts of wine, and enough laughs to last us for the entire night. Catch Phrase was a fun time and having hilarious conversations about the craziness that is being a (ex-)CC student made me remember why I love that place so much. It also made me so much more excited to move to the city after graduation.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Productive Procrastination

Right now, there is very little that I could be doing that would make me more miserable than attempting to be productive with a migraine and a growling stomach. Of course, this migraine and general disdain for life that I am experiencing right now is thanks to hangover that I could have avoided. Life choices. Last night, I am unhappy to say, was not worth the intense dissatisfaction with life I am currently feeling. Clearly I failed to properly conduct a cost benefit analysis when I thought playing 21 cup, doing shots, and drinking a tall boy of cheap beer was a good idea for a Wednesday night. Especially when I was already feeling shitty and extremely tired. It also doesn’t help that I’m quite out of practice with hangovers… I woke up this morning and felt like I was sick. And then I realized, oh wait I did this to my self. Great. So, at this moment, I am sitting at a computer in the Keck Lab pretending to be productive. I neglected to realize that my partner had our hard drive with all our work on it, and since he is otherwise preoccupied I am left with little to productively do. I could be writing our script, but as I am wholly and unequivocally uninspired to write anything that I’m supposed to be writing, I am not doing that. So much for getting shit done. Maybe I’ll do better next time? Probably not.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

It’s getting hot!

Friday night was the first official social event at our house (!!!)

We had a BBQ with a bunch of friends to clean out our freezer. We had bratwurst, burgers, corn on the cob, and then people brought beer, more brats, and a bunch of fun stuff like bean dip, chili, and potato casserole. For appetizers we had egg rolls, crackers, and an assortment of cheeses that we procured from one the roomie’s cater waiter jobs.

It turned out really well and then afterwards we had some more drinks, went out to a few house parties, and then I found my way back home at around 2AM.

For the most part, it was an extremely successful night.

Saturday morning was a little annoying. My roommates failed to tell me that our landlord was bringing a huge old hideous TV to our house today. Not only is it completely useless (we don’t have cable, it’s old so there is no HDMI hook up, we also don’t have a DVD player) It is clunky and general just ruins the vibe of the room. Hopefully it goes away soon… I just can’t look at it all year. It will be a problem.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Big decisions!

This is from the summer, but it pretty much sums up a big decision that I’ve made for post-grad life:

Lately, I’ve been talking to a few of my friends about my decision to move to NYC for a while. Of course, the encouragement and support of my parents was very good for confidence building, but to talk to my friends—most of whom are also dedicated actors, singers, and musicians—has been unbelievably affirming.

For me, I never really considered a career in acting or singing, even though I have always known that I was pretty good at it and that it was something that I loved doing. Part of it, of course, was the uncertainty of it all. Never knowing how long it will be until your next role, not knowing if it will be a paid one or an unpaid ensemble role in some back alley dinner theater (nothing against back alley dinner theaters). But I think I was also a bit scared, and a bit insecure. I have always known that I was a good singer; I’ve been singing my entire life. But despite the amount of time I was singing I was never trained until recently (and there for had no true idea of how I stacked up against my peers with similar aspirations) and I was always around people that I saw as so much better than myself. When you are constantly in shows with people who could easily be on Broadway you doubt yourself sometimes. If half your cast is tiny little girls who are belting G6s with little problem it’s natural that you would feeling a little insecure.

I’ve always had that insecurity gnawing at my desire to pursue theater as a career. Even though I never really acknowledged it until recently it’s been there since I was little. I never thought I was good enough to reach that level of success, to go to New York and get cast in anything let alone to make it to Broadway. So I never entertained the idea that it could be a serious career choice.

Recently I had to face the fact that after this year—my senior year of college—I might never step foot on a stage again. My path was taking me to years of law and graduate school, to politics and urban development and nonprofits. I wouldn’t have the same free time I do now, so I certainly wouldn’t able to devote hours of my time everyday to rehearsals and shows. I was preparing myself for my final year on stage, for my swan song of sorts. The very thought made me sob. I could barely keep the tears from falling as I thought about never performing again. It felt as though I was facing some terrible fate and the impending doom would surely rip my soul to shreds. A life without performing? I haven’t known such a thing since I was an infant.

So, as all adults end up doing, I made a hard choice, one that to most people would seem like a poorly thought out and spur of the moment decision. But for me, and for my friends and family, it seemed like the only one that made sense: I decided that after graduation I am going to pursue acting.

I’ve made peace with my decision, mostly, and I have started the planning process. Sometimes I feel like such a cliché, the liberal arts college graduate wasting her degree by pursuing something that she didn’t even study, and even worse, it’s the arts. Moving to New York and struggling to achieve a dream that for most people never comes true was definitely not in the plans. But other times I remember the feeling of going to an audition, that feeling in the pit of your stomach, the butterflies, the excitement, the adrenaline and thoughts racing through your mind and body. Or the feeling of getting the casting call or being on stage and how it makes you feel like the most important and invincible person in the world. Those are times when I remember why. Why I don’t care that I’m going to be a cliché, why I don’t care that it’s going to be hard or that I might have to subsist on a diet of ramen until I find a job, and why I don’t care that I may not make it to Broadway or win a Tony or become a star. It’s because I couldn’t possibly live without it, and if I didn’t try and see where my passion and drive could take me, I would regret it.

And with that, I am preparing for a long journey. This year will be one for the books, I have already auditioned and been casted for a play that is currently being written by a visiting professor at CC, I am auditioning for Company, and Angels in America at CC and then going to audition for shows in the community. I’m continuing voice lessons and building my musical theater repertoire and also taking some acting classes. I’m going to be working toward my Actor’s Equity card and saving money for the big move. This is all on top of class and finishing my Honor’s Thesis. I know that this year will be tough, and sometimes I will just want to quit, take the easy way out and get a 9-5, but I have to do this, and I will.

Fun in the Sun.

Today was a success. My roomies and I went to Chatfield State Park for the day. Shana, one of my roommates, was looking for places in Colorado to paddle board and happened upon it. Naturally we thought it was a great idea.

We got up this morning to a rough start, tension, hangovers, and a pending utility shut off (more about that later) had us all on edge, but when we finally got to the park things were (mostly) smooth sailing from there.

To call the “Swimming Beach” at Chatfield Reservoir an actual beach would be stretching it. A lot. The “beach” was all pebbles and there were more geese and seagulls than people. It was hot though, so we ignored the unpleasantness of it all and soaked up the sun on the shore. The problem arose when we decided that roasting was getting a little painful and that the water was definitely calling to us.

Unfortunately, the water was murky, browning green, and totally unwelcoming as ducks, seagulls, and geese all made themselves comfortable in the reservoir. We were quickly grossed out of the water and went in search of a better place to dip, preferably with fewer birds and cleaner water. We ended up circling back to a pond we’d seen on our way to the reservoir and it was the place we were actually looking for where they kayaked and paddle boarded. Again, we ran into some problems because we realized there was no brick and mortar operation. There wasn’t a spot to rent paddle boards or any instructors there so we were very confused. On the upside the water was crystal clear and refreshingly cool. There were even little fish swimming around in it.

A lady came up to us from the water and we made fast friends. She was a retired teacher from Littleton who worked for the Denver School District. We talked for a while and then she even let us use her paddle board. It was a lot of fun and the day really ended up being really fun. I got to paddle board for the first time, I got to know my roomies better, and I also get very toasty (tan lines for days :/ )

Now, after having slept off some of the sun, watching TV, and eating a bit I’m looking forward to tonight. Hopefully Phantom and Tony’s is in my future. Maybe tomorrow I’ll tell you about what happened yesterday… that was one for the books.

A dopo!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Early in the morn…

Since my brain apparently hasn’t adjusted to MST I have been waking up at ungodly hours and can’t go back to sleep. When I was at home waking up @ 10AM was not bad, it was sleeping in for me. But due to the time change, 10AM is now 8AM, and of course this isn’t the first time I wake up during the night.

I haven’t gone out at all since I’ve been back, and I think the combo of all the beer I’ve been drinking and the stuff I’ve been doing around the house has pooped me out. I have been so tired and I I just end up staying in bed when I get home.

Yesterday I went to The Arc and it was pretty nice. Got some cool frames, an antique bedside table, a real marble cheese board, and a really cute kind of ornate porcelain dish for jewelry. Then I got some supplies from the Ace Hardware for stripping the paint. I’m really excited for the project, and excited for the final product. After that I took a nap, and then I had some wine and talked with Doron, and then had dinner with Nico and her dad.

Today the freshman come and as weird as it is I’m excited that there will be some new faces around, albeit they will be very young faces.

Hopefully I will get a good amount done today and I might be having lunch with Nico and her dad today. I’m looking forward to enjoying the weather.

A dopo!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Intern blues.

Here is a post from a while ago:

Today is the beginning of my 6th week at my internship and it’s started off pretty badly. I’m interning at the Legal Aid Society of Cleveland and I thought it would be a great place to intern because I am thinking about law school and wanted to get a little insight into law in the non-profit sector. Of course, as a third year undergrad with no prior knowledge of law, the only things that I could do for my internship were distinctly non-law related, alas I found a way in which to satisfy improving my current skill set as well as gaining knowledge in a field that I knew very little about.

As the Development and Communications intern I write grant proposals and letters of inquiry, help maintain the donor database, and write success stories of the interesting cases that get closed by the Legal Aid attorneys. It is important work, of course, and it is right up my alley, as an ex-avid writer and Anthropology student, doing tons of writing and tedious work in databases is my forte. In return for my work, I get to attend the events that the Summer Associates attend: meet and greets with local judges and influential attorneys, meetings with big law firms in Cleveland, court hearings and seminars.

Today was supposed to be the first of these law education happenings; we were going to the Court of Appeals to hear oral arguments and I was super excited for it. In the mock trials that I’d seen I’d only ever seen regular court cases, never appeals and I’d also never been in a real court before—double score! I made sure I was up early, I wore some of my new business digs and had breakfast, I was preparing for success and super excited to get to experience court for the first time. But of course, nothing can go as planned and in typical Monday fashion I missed my train.

Really, my train was early and I missed it by mere minutes and ended up having to wait for the next train that effectively caused me to be too late to go. Not only did I not get to go to court, I was at a loss for work, we were supposed to be at the Court House from 9AM-12PM, essentially leaving me with 3 hours to kill before I was actually supposed to start working.

Of course I was bummed, I really wanted to go to court and I also didn’t want to be stuck in the office with nothing to do for 3 hours. But so goes life, hopefully the next time I won’t underestimate the time and will actually be able to go. Le sigh.

Back in the Springs

Yesterday, well I guess 11 hours ago, I got back to the Springs and sort of started moving into my house. I’m excited about the house, the backyard is magical at night, my room is delightfully spacious and things are relatively clean. Everything but the bathrooms, that is. Which, for anyone who knows me is a big deal, there is nothing in the world that makes me feel more uncomfortable/gross than a dirty bathroom (euck!). So guess what I’m doing today?!

I’m really excited to get out tomorrow and see who’s in town and see everyone’s houses. I am also anxious to get all of my things in the house so that I can finally feel at home. The luxuries of having all of my things at my disposal is necessary at this point, and I’m hoping to get most of my stuff in the house today. Then I can sun bathe and just generally do nothing for the rest of the day.

I don’t think that it has fully hit me that school is just around the corner. But oh well, it will eventually.

A dopo!

Monday, August 19, 2013

Back from the dead.

Seven seasons of Star Trek: Voyager, one season of Orange is the New Black, and an internship later I am finishing out my summer with a pretty good feeling. Í have been writing, but unfortunately my writings haven’t been making it here so I will be posting them periodically as they aren’t particularly time sensitive.

It’s a little strange though because there are only a few days left until I am back in the Springs, and though I’m excited for the start of a new year, I am also kind of sad that I’m leaving home. It’ll be the last time I’ll be here for a while, and when I do come back it will be just for a visit before the big move (!!!). I’ve had some amazing nights with my best friends, in Chautauqua, in bars, on rooftops and in VIP sections. There have been some very cute (and not so cute) boys this summer, some Stage 5 Clingers, and some interesting moments with guy friends. I’ve had dates and hook ups and made mistakes, but there is still more that I wish I could do.

I have a few days to enjoy being home and I’m squeezing a lot of living into this time. Between dates, spending time with family, packing, friends from out of town, and fitting in some last hurrah’s with my best girl friends I am going to be stretching out these last few days as much as I can.

There will be much more to come about school, post-grad, and some new developments in my “life plan” and definitely more about my impending move to New York—which might result in a change of blog name who knows.

But for now,

A dopo!

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Here comes the anxiety…

I start my internship on Tuesday. This simple fact is freaking me out.

I was doing well before, when I was only dealing with the prospect, the near yet still far away future, that I would be spending my entire summer under a pile of work that I am only half certain that I can handle. Now, it is no longer a prospect, it is happening. On Tuesday.

I know that in theory I can do the work, but I have no idea what they are actually expecting of me and what actual work I will be doing. I also have no idea if the organization is something that I will actually want to be apart of after it is all said and done. Slowly but surely my faith and happiness with public service organizations is going down the toilette.

Not only will I be doing an internship I’m only half sure about, I will be starting my thesis work which, I’m not sure that I’m completely prepared for. It’s going to put me well outside my comfort zone. There are very few things that really give me anxiety, and a large part of my project is doing just that: talking with people whom I do not know in a non-social context.

I think this summer will be a large learning experience because I’m going to be forced to do a lot of things I’m not sure about. I had that a bit last summer and everything turned out really well, so I know that I shouldn’t be so anxious about it. But it’s a lot of work, a lot of work that I want and need to do well. If I want to get fellowships at law firms or at other legal organizations I will need to do well at Legal Aid. If I want my thesis to be good I’ll have to do good research. I guess I’ll just have to work really hard and push myself beyond what I think I can do. IF I do that, I will be fine, but I’m just hoping that I have the will for it.

But all anxieties aside, today I’m going to go shopping for some killer internship outfits, have lunch with my dad, and plan our Memorial Day meal. That should keep my mind off my hopefully-not-impending doom.

A dopo!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Well hey there Dallas!

So, I’m at the Dallas-Fort Worth airport finally. Well, actually I’ve been here for a couple hours, but it’s taken a while for it to sink in that I will be home in just a few hours. I can’t wait to see my house since my mother has been renovating, I can’t wait to see my family, and my city.

I had McDonald’s when I got here, which was an extremely poor decision on my behalf and now I feel like there is a ball of congealed lard in the pit of my stomach. Disturbingly enough, I’m not too sure that’s far from the truth.

There are very few times when I have been this excited to go home and since I haven’t been back since January it seems like it’s been forever. I’m hoping to make it home for happy hour, I miss getting good drinks. Bars in the Springs are pretty cheap, but they definitely aren’t good. Not at all.

For now, I’m sitting in the airport excited and ready to get on the plane.

A dopo!

Weather, meh (5/21)

Well, my plans to go home were thwarted. It is 5PM, and instead of finding myself in the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport eagerly awaiting my arrival home, I am back at my friends place planning on bunking on the couch for a 3rd night. Woohoo!

There are many reasons for this to suck hard, the most important of which is the fact that I really wanted to go home. I got so excited and then my flight got cancelled. It’s not like I don’t love it here, but most of my friends are gone at the this point and I have so much to look forward to at home. There is nothing that I want more right now than to be on a plane on its way to Cleveland. Hopefully I’ll get a good dinner and maybe have a few drinks. Otherwise, I’ll be not-so-patiently waiting for my flight out of here and to see my family finally!

A dopo!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013


This morning I got up at 6AM to get ready for commencement, it was bittersweet because on one hand I’m extremely excited for my friends who are seniors. They are leaving CC to do amazing inspiring things and I know that their lives outside of school will be so fulfilling. But, I am sad to see them go, there are so many great people in that year and I will miss them so much.

I ended out the year pretty well, I got the internship that I wanted at Legal Aid Society of Cleveland and I am doing my thesis work with Near West Recreation so things seem to be going well.

I can’t really make much sense of what’s going on right now. It all seems like a blur of events and emotions. Hopefully wants I get home and have some literal and figurative distance from everything—school, friends, clubs, Colorado—and I’ll be able to get things together in my head. Until then I think I’m going to watch some Game of Thrones.

A dopo!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Roughing it (April 3, 2013)

My class went to the cabin for 2 1/2 days (Mon-Wed) to do some in depth analysis of some major pieces by Gershwin. We came up on Monday morning and got situated and then did a read through of one of Gershwin’s most popular shows Lady, Be Good which is a downright silly and cliché musical. Thinks of generic early 20th century musical comedy plot and you will have a general outline of the show’s plot. Aside from the plot issues there were some great one liners and some pretty good songs.

It was nice to be away from things, but I was glad to get back to campus, internet is something that I have learned not to take for granted.

A dopo!

Now that that’s over… (March 24, 2013)

I’m currently sitting on a plane on my way back to the Springs and I’m feeling a little torn.

On one hand I’m going back to 20 degree whether and snow after getting sunburnt for 3 days and laying out on the beach in practically nothing. I had been yearning for some warmth and I got it. Unfortunately not for too long. But, on the other hand I am going to be back with all my other friends and living it up for the next too blocks, which hopefully will not stay cold for too long.

My next class will be great, a high level music history course with an amazing professor who knows what he’s talking about and with other students who study music. It will be my first of the kind and I’m a little afraid I might be in over my head, but hopefully I retained something from that black of theory freshman year.

Daytona was amazing and I really got to relax. We were staying in a condo right on the beach so everyday was pools and the beach and generally just having a great time and feeling good. Towards the end I could tell that I was getting a little annoyed with some things, but for the most part the trip was really great and I enjoyed spending time with Erin and Grace. We ate enough seafood to fill an aquarium and spent enough time on the beach for an entire summer, I’ve never been this burnt in my life.

At this point we are almost home and since my attempt at reading during this flight turned into a 45 minute nap I figured I’d write a little.

A dopo!

In Transit… (March 19th, 2013)

I’m sitting here in the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport wanting nothing more than to crawl into a hole and go to sleep. I have 20 minutes until my flight and I’m feeling like it’s been hours.

My day started off really early, I woke up at 5:20AM so that I could have enough time to shower, finish packing my toiletries and eat breakfast before the cab got there. As soon as I got up I called so that the taxi would be there at 6:15, of course in my sleep drunk state, I told them the wrong address, unbeknownst to me until later. After that I realized the carry-on I was going to take had a hole in it so I had to switch bags and I ended up not having enough time to actually eat breakfast. It was also way too early to actually eat anything substantial (needless to say right now I’m starving). In my anxious state, I forgot to pack my toothbrush (its always the toothbrush) and also neglected to dress properly for the plane rides, per usual.

When I go to the airport the taxi ride ended up being $39, I was pissed so I didn’t leave a tip. I feel bad about it now, but at the time (6:30AM) I could careless about karma. I certainly never claim to be a morning person. After that it was smooth sailing, checking in yesterday was definitely worth while as I didn’t have to stand in those obnoxious lines to check in at the desk. It was nice to have light bags as well, I need to take short trips more often…

Anyway, now I’m in Dallas and of course, right when I was settled in at my gate they decided it would be an awesome idea to change the gate. Classic. On the other hand, at least the gate change was only a little ways down the terminal unlike the gate changes characteristic of Denver International where they completely change the terminal and don’t have any sort of shuttle service for the terminals. I don’t even remember how many times I’ve sprinted through that airport with my 30lbs bags trying to make my flight.

As someone who typically lacks patience (if we could apparate like in Harry Potter, I would totally risk the consequences) I have been super anxious to get to Daytona. Not only do I want to just be there already, I also can’t wait for the balmy weather that is awaiting me there. Even if it is raining 70’s is better than 50’s any day.

So for now, I am stuck waiting in anticipation for my fast approaching R&R and I can hardly contain myself. More to come from the sandy shores of Daytona Beach, with pictures!

A dopo!

I kind of suck…

It is clear that I have a really bad habit of writing posts and then not posting them. So, what I have resolved to do is post all of my “forgotten” posts and put approximate dates… be warned there are plenty of posts and some of them are kind of exciting.

A dopo!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Positive note… sort of?

I can finally see the end of the block, 2 days and I’m free for almost 2 weeks. It’s cliché but I can totally taste the freedom. In addition to my pending freedom/vacation I have some things happening in my love life that are definitely looking up. Someone quite regular and some other possibilities are perking up my personal life and making the net couple blocks seem very promising on the social front. I haven’t figured things out completely but I’m definitely feeling like some good things are going happen.

On a less long term note I just returned from CC’s library with some promising reads. Ever since high school and the drastic increase in work and effort that school involved, I’ve found that I’ve gone from reading multiple books a week (I was a bit of a book worm in middle school) to not reading for pleasure at all. I got a little taste of it during my senior project in which I worked at my school’s library and was my favorite librarians personal book reviewer. I spent more than my fair share of time with my nose in a book. I enjoyed every second and it was a welcome reprieve from TV and the monotony of school readings. Unfortunately after that I didn’t have much time or desire to read for pleasure and once I got to college all my readings were class assigned and plentiful. I’ve had a few spurts of pleasure reading, picking things up from time to time—I always find time to read Angela Davis and I read some Malcolm Gladwell as well—but I haven’t really put aside time to read. Now, with my upcoming vacation and new found free time I have a stack of books that is begging to be read:

The Physics of Star Trek

Sophie’s World (a personal favorite)

“Surely you’re joking, Mr. Feynman” Adventure of a Curious Character

The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales

Roadside Picnic

There will be updates, hopefully I’ll have some new favorites. But alas it is time for me to finish my final paper.

A dopo!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

A little less than ideal…

So as the end of block 7 is drawing to a close and this semester is getting to the halfway point I’m kind of freaking out. Everyday I listen to my roommates and friends talk about all the things that they are applying for and what they are planning on doing this summer. As of now, I have tentative plans and no confirmations for anything, needless to say I feel like I am falling behind the pack. I have so many ideas of things that I want to do but I am kind of stuck in this rut of not knowing how to get the things that I want.

I made a tentative plan about a month ago: archaeology in Costa Rica, and then thesis research and an internship with either the Attorney General or the Legal Aid Society of Cleveland. But since I don’t really know if any of them are going to happen I feel like I’m not doing all that I should to plan my summer. I barely made spring break plans, luckily I figured things out, but even that was a struggle.

Last year I felt like I had everything in place. I was in Italy, I knew what I was doing when I got back and I didn’t have this uncertainty. Now I just don’t know…

Hopefully things will come together in the next month or so, I don’t think that I would be sane if I went into 8th block not knowing what my summer was going to be like. So for now I’m just going to try not to stress too much about my summer and enjoy the rest of my junior year. In a week it will be spring break and I will be finishing applications, making phone calls and sending out emails, perhaps I’ll even make time to hang out with friends. A week after that I will be in Dayton Beach soaking up sun and hanging out with my roommate and a friend which will be a much needed reprieve. I’m super excited to actually have some time for a vacation and then I can come back fully refreshed and ready for my next block class which will be a class analyzing the music of Gershwin. It’s with one of my favorite professors who is currently writing a book about Gershwin so it’s going to be an amazing class.

I guess at this point I’m starting to really experience some of the uncertainty of the real world. I‘m not sure how I like having my life precariously balancing between order and total chaos but I guess it’s something that I will have to get used to. Maybe even one day I’ll embrace it. For now I’ll try to keep thing together as best as I can, and until then…

A dopo!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

It’s been a while…

Today I realized that I hadn’t really blogged much lately (and by lately I mean at all) since the summer. I’ve been exceptionally busy and I haven’t really had the time or the energy to write about myself. Although, given my past few months I probably should have taken some time out for introspection. I guess I can start with the general things.

My school year started off with Race in The American Musical, a Music History class that I got to take with one of my favorite professors at CC, Ryan Bañagale. My next classes were Youth, Power, and Social Movements taught by Maria Varela who was an active member of SNCC during the Civil Rights Movement, Research and Design for Anthropology Majors which really helped me to zero in on a topic for my thesis, and then Women, Men, and Others: A Study of Gender Cross Culturally which was an awesome class that culminated in an awesome class wide Community Based research project.

I think my first semester academically was one of my best at CC and I really worked hard to do well in all of my classes. It was really cool to be around so many influential people and really open myself up intellectually to all that CC had to offer. One thing I think I’ve taken for granted is the wealth of knowledge and expertise that is available at CC through it’s faculty and staff, we have some really reputable people who have made many strides in their fields and sometimes I can’t even believe the people that I get to meet. Of all my professors, I think that Maria Varela is one that I will never forget. Knowing the things that she did as a student and how involved she was in an organization that literally changed American society leaves me in awe every time. And then being able to speak with her and pick her brain about activism and community organizing and mobilizing people is an opportunity that not many people get to have.

Personally, first semester was a struggle. I was really stressed out to the point that I was having a lot of anxiety about producing for my clubs and groups and classes on top of all of the financial stuff I was dealing with. I really struggled with getting that in check. On top of that romantically I was dealing with  confusing situation with a guy from home, it wasn’t surprising though because I tend to have complicated and stupid romantic relationships. That all came to a head during winter break when I realized I couldn’t put in effort for someone who clearly didn’t think they needed to put in effort for me. Long story short, it ended before it started.

Winter break was a time when I really had to deal with the things that were causing me anxiety. I had to sit down and evaluate how I wanted to move forward so that things didn’t overwhelm me like they had. I think I found a sense of clarity in my mindset. I worked, and I spent time with family and really got to have a grounded break. Then I went back to school for half block and took Accelerate Portuguese which really ignited my passion for being challenged. I think I had a huge transition in mindset over break, it was refreshing.

Now that I it is second semester and I’m staring my Senior year in the face, I have started to get a little panicked about my future. Not that I don’t think I won’t be able to find something that I like, but that I don’t really know what I want to do. The end game is the same, I want to impact my community greatly and do significant things for underprivileged people, but there are so many ways to do it. So, right now I’m trying to figure out my plan of action for the next couple years. But hey at least I’ve got a house!

For now, I think that this has been a good enough update, don’t want to write a novel, but perhaps I’ll start updating more often.

A dopo!